Thomas didn’t like coffee. In fact, he damn near hated it. But he always stopped at the small Starbucks café that was on 5th Avenue on his way to his college classes. It was no different this morning.
He entered the shop smiling, as always, as he pushed his eyeglasses up the bridge of his nose. The first sight was of the most beautiful barista girl he had ever seen, with middle length blonde hair and calming brown eyes. She was occupied when he walked in, making someone’s coffee but she paused to look up at the door. The minute she saw him, she blushed, gave him a shy smile and went back to her work.
It was like that ever since Thomas came in here a year ago for the first time. It was only shy smiles for the first month, until one day Thomas saw a heart next to his name on his coffee cup. He decided to leave a heart on the napkin at the table where he always sat at and that’s when it began. They always left little notes to each other in some way or the other. Thomas got to know her a lot through those notes. He knew that she loved listening to music, her favorite being Depeche Mode. She was a dog person, her favorite color was a light blue, she didn’t have any siblings, and he knew she was born in the year 1995. He knew she believed in some type of afterlife, her hometown was in Oklahoma, and that she now lived in Kansas for the sunsets. Her favorite fruit was strawberry, and she liked to eat Chinese meals above all others. But today he had a plan.
He ordered his coffee from her co-worker like he always did and sat at his table as she made his coffee. But instead of waiting for her to bring it to him so they could exchange smiles, he found a napkin, took the pen that he carried with him everywhere out of his pocket and wrote his note to her for that day.
Clarissa, meet me at the Sherwood Park tonight at 8 pm.
–Thomas
He then walked out of the shop, not being able to wipe the smile from his face. He walked to his university, thinking about her shy smiles and bright blonde hair. The day had seemed to pass as slow as ever until it finally reached seven o’clock. He was so nervous that he hardly ate anything or spoke to anyone. He didn’t like to talk about Clarissa to his friends because they all made fun of him for crushing so hard towards her. So, when he walked out of his room and all his roommates demanded where he was off to while being dressed extra nice, he gave the excuse that he was heading to a birthday with his family.
He knew that he was early when he arrived at the park, but he felt better waiting there then he did in his apartment. It was a cute family park with playgrounds and swings that was surrounded by the Sherwood forest. Thomas picked a nice-looking bench to sit on where he’d be able to see Clarissa coming from the town. Seven o’clock came and went. 7;30, then 7:45. 7:50, then eight o’clock. Eight o’clock came and went. Finally, at 8:20, he saw her. Her flowy blonde hair ruffled as she walked. She had her fingers in the forest pockets of her black jeans and her light pink sweater complimented her figure nicely. Thomas pushed up his eyeglasses and smiled, relieved that she showed up.
He got up and walked towards her. They both gave each other a small wave, both of them smiling.
“Hi,” Thomas said.
“Hi,” Clarissa said. It was the first words they have ever spoken to each other. They looked away from each other, both of them not sure what to say to the other. Clarissa shivers and Thomas frowns.
“Are you cold? Here, take my jacket.” Thomas quickly took his jacket off and wrapped it around Clarissa before she could refuse.
“Well, what about you? It’ll only get colder as the night goes on. Maybe we should go somewhere else?” Clarissa suggested.
“Yeah. Well, I’d offer my apartment, but I share it with three other guys, and I wouldn’t want to go there,” Thomas said. Clarissa smiled.
“Well, I have my apartment. I don’t share it with anyone, so it won’t be as large as an apartment with four guys in it,” she said.
“It sounds perfect. Is it far?” Thomas asked. Clarissa shook her head.
“It’s just around the corner.” They began walking towards her apartment, both of them silent, trying to think of a topic to talk about.
“So, did you like Oklahoma?” Thomas asked.
“Oh, yes. I loved it. I’m glad my parents still live there so I have an excuse to visit for the holidays,” she said.
“But obviously the sunsets in Kansas will beat any childhood memory from Oklahoma,” Thomas teased. Clarissa smiled.
“Yeah…” She said, “well, I have a past in Kansas too. It’s something I wouldn’t be able to let go of.” They arrived at Clarissa’s small apartment within a few minutes. Inside it was warm enough to take off their jackets. “Do you want some hot coco or something?” Clarissa asked.
“No, thank you,” Thomas said as he examined her neat living room and kitchen. He made his way to the hall where pictures of Clarissa and her life hung. “Your apartment is really homey,” Thomas says as Clarissa walked up next to him and looked at her pictures with him. He pointed at one with Clarissa a few years younger and a man, both of them smiling at the camera and holding each other close. Too close to be just friends. “Who’s this?” Thomas asked. He turned to see Clarissa’s cheeks go pink.
“Oh, that was Sebastian. He… um, he happened a long time ago. I should really take it down,” she said.
“Was he your boyfriend?” Thomas asked. Clarissa glanced at him.
“Yeah,” she said, giving him a small smile. “He… he passed away.” Thomas’ heart dropped, expected to hear her say anything but that.
“I’m so sorry,” Thomas said.
“It was years ago. Do you want to come in the living room?” They both walked in the living room and sat next to each other on the couch. It was quiet again for a long time. Thomas didn’t know what else to say or to do, so he slowly put his arm on the back of the couch, around Clarissa. She looked at him and gave him a nervous smile. She scooted closer to him. He took that as an invitation to touch her hand. She looked at him again. He touched her shoulder with his hand that was on the back of the couch and she seemed to move closer. He touched her chin before slowly leaning in and gently touching his lips to hers. He keeps it slow, not wanting to move too fast for her. He suddenly felt her shudder and he slowly pulled away. He was shocked when he seen tears on her face. Was she in love with Sebastian? He wondered.
“Is something wrong?” He asked her. She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I liked you,” she said, still trembling with sobs. “I liked you a lot.”
“I like you too,” Thomas said.
“But he’s making me do it.” Thomas didn’t get a chance to ask her what she meant before an immensely sharp pain stabbed him in the side. He gasped and slowly looked down at his side only to see Clarissa gripping a silver handle to the blade that was buried in him. He slowly looked up at her to see her face soaked with tears.
“I’m so sorry,” Clarissa says, as Thomas’ body suddenly becomes heavy and he falls to the floor, the knife slipping out of his side because of how hard Clarissa grips onto it. She wipes the tears from her face and stands. She bent over and carefully removed the eyeglasses from Thomas’ face and folded them. She stepped over Thomas’ body and walked down the hallway to her bedroom. In her bedroom, she walked to her closet and towards the shelf with sentimental valuables that nobody but Clarissa would understand. With the valuables is a picture of a dark haired, handsome faced man with a boyish smile. She set Thomas’ eyeglasses before the picture, next to a watch, a pocket book, a ring band, and a cap hat, while anger began to stir in her.
“There you go, Sebastian. Another life was taken just for you.” She was quiet for a moment, thinking of the time when the policeman had knocked on her door. Her eyes filled with tears again. She sniffed and looked away from the picture. “Will you ever let me go? Will you ever let me move on?!” She looked at the picture in anger but then her heart softened at his smile. “I don’t mean to keep falling in love. But I can’t seem to stop it. Will you ever let me be and not poison me with guilt?” She remembered the very moment the policeman had told her about her beloved, and how he met his brutal end with a homicidal murder. She stepped away from the shelf. “No,” she said, “I may never move on.”
Giving Thomas a proper burial wasn’t easy. She had to be careful that no one saw her taking him out the back to her car and she had to drive in the pitch black with her headlights off. Digging the grave was the most difficult, but after the other four that she buried, she was getting better and faster at it.
She then had to return to her apartment and clean up any blood that had gotten anywhere, which had sometimes meant finding an empty field in the middle of the night and burning something that was unsalvageable. Then she spent the rest of the night crying in the shower.
At dawn, she went to Copper’s field and picked fresh wildflowers and walked back to Thomas’ grave. As she approached it, she thought of all the thrilling times she had with Thomas each time she found a napkin with his neat handwriting on it. She was going to miss him terribly.
When she stood before Thomas’ fresh grave she frowned in confusion. There at the head of his grave was a small piece of white paper. She didn’t remember that being there when she left.
She was careful to step around Thomas’ grave and picked up the paper and replaced it with the bundle of flowers she had gathered. She stood as she unfolded it. Her stomach immediately dropped with fear when she seen a handwritten note.
To the barista on 5th ave,
I know about all the people you’ve killed and why. And I want to help you.
–S
Idea Overload 