In this post I’m going to separate 3 important scenes: intimacy scenes, love scenes, and sex scenes. I refer intimacy scenes as those heart racing moments where there is no skin involved between your characters, but it is so obvious that they are in love or infatuation with each other. That kind of moment where maybe you might have your MC get in a water fight with their crush. Intimacy scenes can be written in either male or female POV. (This post is focusing on man and woman relationships only.)
Sex scenes I’ll refer to as your characters lust desires. It may be hot or it may be gross, but you know for sure that these two- or however many- characters are not in love.
It is important to write a sex scene that is meant to be hot and sexy in the man’s point of view. If, however, it is meant to be cringe worthy or embarrassing, it would be gold to right it in the woman’s view as she would be more likely to find something that would turn her off in a flash.
Love scenes- you’ve guessed it- are the scenes that you can actually feel the love and tenderness coming from the pages and you can’t stop turning the pages for the life of you. All these type of scenes should be written in the man’s POV.
The reasons for this is because your male audience would more likely want to read what a man is doing to a woman rather than reading what a woman is doing to a man. Make sense? Take these two examples if you will. (I advise anyone that’s not 18 and/or married not to read the two descriptions given below)
Male Character POV:
“Her eyes are a soft blue. She smells as if she just came from a floral shop. I glance down to her luscious pink lips. Would she refuse if I leaned in? I notice that her breathing is slightly heavier than usual. Her eyes glance down to my lips and I take that as a queue.
“I lean in barely. Testing her. When she sucks in a breath but doesn’t lean away I know for sure that it’s an invitation. I reach my hand up, touching her chin as my lips press against hers. I feel her hands clench at my shirt as if to draw me closer and that’s exactly what I want.
“My fingers travel to her soft hair line while my other hand grabs her waist and pulls her closer. She moans and I almost can’t keep my steady pace. Would she stop me if my hand traveled farther up? I decide to test her again by slowly bringing my hand to her ribs, and then to her shoulder blade. From there I gently caress her until I reach her beautiful plump breast.”
Now let’s go through that scene again but through the woman’s point of view.
Female Character POV:
“His eyes seem a deeper blue than usual. Is this really about to happen? I can sense it coming but it all seems like a dream. I notice him glance at my lips and my heart jumps. Is he going to kiss me? I want him to kiss me. I find myself looking at his lips wondering how it would be like kissing him.
“He suddenly leans closer and I inhale with surprise and excitement but I try not to give him any negative message. I see his jaw clench and I almost smile at how sexy he is. Would he think I’m weird for wanting to just bite his jawline? I don’t get a chance though because the next second we are kissing. I’m shocked, even though I so knew this was coming; I’m frozen for a second before I realize how great it feels. Not knowing what to do with my hands, I grasp his shirt. His fingers run through my hair as he pulls me closer and I accidentally let a small moan of passion escape but I don’t regret it. It seems to make our making out deeper and sends thrills down ny spine. I wish he would just wrap his arms around me.
“As I feel his hand travel up my side I feel the urge to touch his arms; his forearms first, and then his biceps. That’s when I realize that his hand actually has a destination. Am I wrong to let him do this? I have a slight feeling that it is wrong but I could care less. It’s just me and him alone in the world.”
Women come across scenes like both of these in romance novels all the time and we couldn’t give two shits whose POV it’s in, as long as the scene is heavy with love and sexiness.
But what if your story isn’t a romance but has a romance in it? In that case, women aren’t your main target audience and you want to do right by your target audience, right? Well, in my experience, a real man doesn’t want to read about a male character’s jawline.
This post is limited to first person point of view, however, and it is a little bit different with third person but it has the same concept. Third person still reveals thoughts and feelings.
If you noticed, the male’s POV is as avoided of emotional questions and feelings as much as possible while the female’s POV has a lot more questions that she is asking herself. That is because men truly do come from Mars and women truly do come from Venus. No one knows what the opposite sex is thinking. Some may have a better understanding of it than others but one sex truly would not be able to predict how the opposite sex would react to different situations that was handed to them. That’s why it is such a challenge to write in the opposite sex POV.
So when trying to write in the opposite sex’s POV, always remember that the two aren’t exactly the same and it is best to seek advice and information where one is willing to give.
Idea Overload 